My firstborn child came to me on an early evening near the middle of June, with the sky blue as a robin's egg and the earth hot from the day's sun. Five years later my third and last child woke me in the wee hours of this, the last day of June, and made her entrance shortly after the sun had risen, when the shadows were still long and the cool morning air smelled sweet & damp. Just this past week my new grandson made his entrance in the middle of the night, quietly increasing the population of the sleeping city by one very precious person.
Huge milestones such as these, many of my life's "firsts" including starting & ending relationships and even the first steps in discovering myself ... all have happened in June. And this year June has given me more "firsts" to celebrate along with my grandson and my children's birthdays ...
As I mentioned in my first blog, I managed to win the internal battle against my lack of self esteem long enough to hoist a victory flag and launch my fledgling business! While baby birds were testing their wings in the warm June air and taking their first tentative flights, I was also trying to spread my creative wings, let go of my insecurities and allow myself the freedom to believe in me and my ideas. It's a hard thing to do, this stilling of the negative voices ... they really don't like to give up! I've lost the battle many times in the past, sometimes without any chance of winning, sometimes very shortly after what I thought was victory. But something is different this time around - I have a strength of purpose I've never felt before. At least in this context I'm confident my victory will endure.
Something is blossoming inside me and I know my time to shine is at hand. When I close my eyes I see a beautiful flower bud, like a peony or a lotus, in the center of me. It's slowly opening and as it opens a golden white light radiates out from it's center, and I am filled with this Light. I know that what is unfolding inside of me is part of the reason I won the battle, and winning the battle is part of the reason it has grown and feels so powerful!
June arrived in all her burgeoning beauty, full of promise. She did not disappoint! She is departing, having given me the gift of new beginnings to fill both my heart and my soul. Life is so very good!
Let the journey continue!
"water lilies" photograph by Sheelagh Newton. All rights reserved
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